Eurovision is shit this year.
Pure unmitigated shit.
Wait – before you give up, hear me out. As most of you know, I’m a Eurovision fan. Perhaps not the most dedicated (I don’t pay attention to within country song selection processes, not even within Germany), but I do buy the music and listen to it when it becomes available.
Usually I find three or four songs that I really like – the kind of songs that go onto my gym iPod and power me through hours of cardio. These might not be the songs that win, but these tend to be songs with a nice beat, a positive message, and click with me – they are my personal ear-worms, songs that I wake up to every morning – running through my head.
Unfortunately this year, out of the 39 entries, none have made that kind of impression on me.
In fact, shockingly, only three songs come up as songs I kind-of, sort-of, like.
Ireland, Malta, and Finland.
Ireland is “Only Love Survives” by Ryan Dolan. I sort of like the song. The video is sort of cute. And Ryan, well, he’s also sort of cute. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed, but, on the other hand, I wouldn’t fly to Dublin to spend the night with him either.
Malta’s song, “Tomrrow,” has a sweet, sappy, and silly story about Jeremy, the IT guy. But Gianluca Bezzina, the performer, isn’t anything (at least in my book) to look at, and this song has a snowball’s chance in hell of getting out of the semi-finals.
Finland’s song, “Marry Me,” by Krista Siegfrids, is cute. Again, I sort of like the song. The video is passable. And Krista, well, she looks like she’d be a lot of fun to hang out with.
That said, a bunch of people got together and made a parody video for Finland’s song, and I actually like the parody more than the official video
The rest, I can leave. Most are so bland as to be forgettable, and the few that I’d rather not listen to again, are not so horrific that I feel compelled to delete them.