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August 2006
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Thanks for upholding the law!

Principal John Schalk
Carmody Middle School
2050 S. Kipling Street
Lakewood, CO 80227

Dear Principal Schalk,

As an American living in a foreign country, I felt compelled to write to you after hearing that you have successfully scared that seditious “teacher” Eric Hamlin out of your school.

It is most unfortunate that such a left wing wing-nut is now seeking to work in the Jeffco Schools “multicultural” student services office. I hear that “multicultural” is code for treasonous behavior like helping foreigners who shouldn’t be in the land of the free learn about the great United States of America.

The second he put up the flags of other nations, he immediately brought into question the righteousness of the United States of America. I share your view that the United States of America’s righteousness should not be question. As an American I know that the United States is supreme and that all other nations must bow down to its greatness, and that it is dangerous to let other countries think they have an edge.

Consider the country where I live now, Germany. For two brief periods of time in the twentieth century, the people of this country thought that they were greater than Americans. Americans then had to step in and put these sniveling weasels in their place. About the only good to come out of this mess, is that Americans now have two wars to remind the French that they couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag.

I propose that you and I meet tonight at the Rathaus in Weimar. “Rathaus” is German for “city hall” not the misspelling of “Rat House”—these bastards have still not adopted English and its obviously superior words as their language. Once at the Rathaus we can scale the walls and put up the Stars and Stripes and declare war on the un-American idiots.

Our concentrated efforts will be successful!

Yours with George W. Bush,

Adam Lederer

3 comments to Thanks for upholding the law!

  • I don’t even think you realise how utterly brilliant this is.

    It’s so saturated with satire I can almost feel it soaking into my pores. And it feels soooo good.

    So, kudos to you.

    I’m still shaking my head and chuckling.

  • I got the impression when I first read about it that he only displayed two flags. It seems to me it should have been an all or nothing display. IE a poster or similar to show the flags of all nations of the world instead of just two or three.

    Still, I think the school leaders went too far.

  • satire?

    what satire?

    :-p

    I haven’t received a response to my email yet.


    CQ: I respectfully disagree. There’s no reasonable way to show all flags–posters may not spark imagination the way actual flags do. I can tell you that one of the most powerful moments in my educational history was when a WWII soldier came to one of my classes and displayed an actual Nazi flag that he had taken down whilst occupying Germany.

    The US suffers no harm by having six other flags flying in the classroom with its flag.