Pick-A-Day

May 2004
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Archives

A Letter for Today

Dear Comptroller Schaefer,

I read with much happiness your recent criticism of the McDonald’s employees who do not speak English clearly.

I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments on the matter.

Immigrants to the United States should be compelled to learn English-with strict penalties for not learning English. For example, I advocate a ten percent immediate […]

Cornholing

A month or so ago, there was an amusing article posted to fark about high school students attending an event to discourage bad behavior during prom. One of the events was a cornhole tournament. No, not that kind, but this kind of cornhole. I was reminded of this today because the bizarre t-shirt I ordered […]

Revisiting History, Part 2

So after I posted the letter about Janet Jackson’s boob, I was reminded by a friend that last week I wrote a letter to the coaches at Pleasantville Middle School in New Jersey. As you might recall, one of the coaches issues a Cry-Baby Award (registration required) to one of the basketball players. I was […]

Revisiting History, Part 1

As I was looking back at Jesus’ General, I thought about some of the letters I’ve written to public figures in the past few months, and immediately thought of the one I wrote in February to the various FCC Commissioners:

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Dear Commissioner X,

I want to express my dismay at the fact […]