A Letter for Today

Dear Comptroller Schaefer,

I read with much happiness your recent criticism of the McDonald’s employees who do not speak English clearly.

I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments on the matter.

Immigrants to the United States should be compelled to learn English-with strict penalties for not learning English. For example, I advocate a ten percent immediate deduction from each pay check for immigrants (and citizens, for that matter) who do not speak English proficiently. This ought to be a terrific stick to encourage learning.

Perhaps we should also ban these non-English speakers from any job interacting with the public, thus preventing them from gaining any advantage over those of us who do. Why should they be allowed to be cashiers earning more money than the fry chefs in the back-it seems un-American.

I honestly believe that although you are a Democrat, you are a shining example of everything that is right with George W. Bush’s America.

Sincerely,

Adam Lederer