October 2004


Schwules Thüringen

Happy News!

I am not the only fag in the State of Thüringen.

After buying a pair of blue jeans, eating some Chinese food, and attending the OktoberFest in Erfut, Katya and I ended up at Etc-Test-It, the hippest and gayest (err… Schwule-ist) nightclub in Erfurt.

It was open!

There were two dance floors!

There was music!

There was a bar!

There were gay people-some even cute!

Drinks in hand, Katya and I perched ourselves on the balcony overlooking the bar and watched people come in, drink, and generally behave in bar-like behavior. I imparted my usual description of the three gay bars in Bloomington, as well as the one time I caused my friend Jay’s jaw to drop open while at Uncle E’s. It was a lovely time, until…

We noticed a cat yowl? or rather, the DJ was playing something that sounded like it had been recorded at the “Worst Karaoke Night-Ever.” We grimaced and waited for the song to be over, and hoped that it was a one time aberration.

Unfortunately, we were wrong. We moved from our perch above the bar, into the upper dance floor, where we grabbed some seats and watched the dance floor devoid of dancers-as the DJ, Enrico, spun some tunes. It was clear to me why nobody was dancing-I kept hoping that the next song would be better than the previous-yet it only seemed to get worse and worse and worse.

It was clear to me that Test-It is in no danger of having Enrico hired away by a bigger and better club else where in Erfurt, Germany, the UK, or even the hippest club in Gnaw Bone, Indiana (Yes, that really exists!). According to his bio on the Test-It website, this guy has been spinning since 1988. It is pathetic that he has neither improved his skills since the first time he tried to DJ nor has he acquired a decent record collection.

It says something when I think I could assemble a better evening of music-the only thing I don’t know how to do is mix records together to make the music continuous- something that Enrico doesn’t know how to do either.

Around 11:45, I had to make a decision. Since I do not have a car, I either could catch the 0:20 or stay until the next train at 4:19. We checked the downstairs dance floor; whose DJ was spinning non-offensive crap-it would neither have kept me at the club nor driven me away. The deciding fact was that I haven’t had enough sleep in the last week to justify staying up for a night of bad music, or inoffensive music.

Unfortunately for me, Enrico seems to be spinning records every other week, on average through the rest of this year.

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