Dear Adam,
I know that you “love” Rebecca, but I have news for you.
You’re GAY.
Gay as they come-I don’t care if you’re a gym bunny who chased Rebecca and convinced her that you’re straight, you’re just kidding yourself. You’re flamingly GAY, and it’s painfully obvious to everybody-even Rebecca thought you were gay, and the first episode summary points out the obvious fact that you’re GAY.
Hell, there is even an erotic story (NSFW!) fantasies involving your gayness out on the web.
Please, come out of the closet. It’s not becoming.
Adam
P.S. Your haircut is- very GAY, another nail in the coffin.
I agree with the comments, but keep the little mouse-hung troll away from me. I hope someone gets some clippers out and finishes shaving his head for Pete’s sake.