Missionaries

God* works in mysterious ways.

I had a slight headache this afternoon and decided to catch an early train home, where I am now doing laundry and cooking dinner. The goal was to catch the express train that left at 3:50, but I ended up catching the 4:13 train-mainly because I was quizzed as to why my room in Amsterdam cost less than anybody else’s room (a cheque came in the mail refunding some of what I paid). I, of course, have no idea why my room cost less, nor do I have any explanation-although I wish the hotel had put my name on the cheque so that it would have been given to me instead.

The upshot of this story is that I arrived at the train station and stood near a couple of Mormon Missionaries, who proceeded to ask me where the other train station in Jena was for future reference. The whole time I talked to them, I was thinking about Latter Days, the film I recently watched.

Then one of the Elders (I forgot his name) attempted to interest me in what they were selling. Right away I said, “I doubt you really want to talk to me, I’m irreligious and I’m gay.”

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, that didn’t stop the guy from talking to me. It seems he went on his mission right out of high school and hadn’t yet decided what he wants to study or where he wanted to go to college-although he does want to play baseball. (He mentioned Dixie College in St. George, Utah, which I have heard of–back in the days of IRC I used to use servers down there!)

He kept trying to bring up my relationship with God, and I kept steering the conversation other directions, at one point asking him if he’d ever been to a gay bar. (He said no, but then again his fellow elder was only a few feet away.) He also believes in Creationism at one point asking me about a frozen Mammoth with fresh grass frozen in its mouth. I again asked about the gay bar, and he wanted to know if I was an active homosexual-and I wanted to know what that meant? “Do you have homosexual sex?”

Sad, had he not kept bringing up God to justify some of his opinions, he would have been a lot more interesting and I might just have invited him home for dinner.

At least he was cute though.

*if there is a God.