March 2005


Amazing Race 7

Chris Here with a new hijacking of the elmada blog.

Last night the next installment of the Amazing Race started. I have a few things to say about it.

First, Rob – I know you were on Survivor and performed very well. All I have to say to you is this – please stop looking into the camera and telling everyone that “we” won a million dollars on that show. Amber won the million dollars, you won a warm place to park your penis. I know that for many straight guys that this feat is probably like winning a million bucks but Rob, you need to remember this – when Amber dumps your sad butt the world will see how much of that million you actually own.

Second, Lynn & Alex – Normally I pull for the queer couples when they appear on the race, but you two are single-handedly doing more to hurt the cause of gay rights in America than any other gay people I’ve seen. I sincerely hope you two are eliminated next. You two are quite pathetic; you live in Los Angeles and managed to get lost on your way to the LAX airport. I’m still having trouble figuring out which one of you is the bottom.

Fortunately the gay population has another queer to cheer for. I’m hoping Patrick and his mother have the capacity to show that gay people are just like everyone else.

Third, Ryan & Chuck – Good riddance. You are the epitome of every southern-hick stereotype I’ve had the displeasure of seeing while living in the south. Chuck, lose the damn mullet! That hairstyle has not been in fashion since Pat Bennetar was popular. Thank god you two are so fat (apologies to fat people) you can’t run and lost the foot race to the pitstop. Perhaps if you had cut back on all that fried chicken, barbecue, and deep fried catfish, you would have come in second to last. Fortunately you didn’t, and the English speaking world is spared from having to see subtitles just to understand what Chuck is saying.

And finally, CBS – Amazing Race 8 casting… Surely you can’t be serious about having families of four running around. This is the Amazing Race, not Trading Spaces – Family. What are you going to do when little Bobby or Suzie gets hit over the head by a Macac monkey or gets eaten by a Bengal Tiger? Sure, you have people sign waivers, but just imagine all the bad publicity you’ll get.

4 comments to Amazing Race 7

  • Chris, I have to disagree with you on this. First off, I have to say the casting on this season is much better than previous seasons.

    Secondly, Lynn and Alex are great–we need queens who beat the shit out of people to do well–I have no objections to them.

    Thirdly, Ryan and Chuck weren’t that bad..quite frankly they were one of the few teams that tried to communicate in the local language and not get upset when the locals didn’t speak English. They added a lot of color to the show (“We’re load testing the line!”) that could be missing later on. The POW and Miss Southern Whatever are going to be bland and boring.

    As for Rob and Amber… eh… it appears that it will take a lot of work to knock them off. They must not be that stupid.

  • ChrisC

    We’ll agree to disagree. I stand by my statements. 🙂 Especially the ones about Chuck and Ryan. Fortunately, we won’t see them again until the teams get back to the US.

    What I liked about Reichen and Chip from a previous season was that they were gay, but they were NORMAL! That’s what people need to see, we are your neighbor, we serve you in stores, we defend the country, etc. My point is that the people who are going to make decisions about us in the US are afraid of stereotypical fags. Throwing flamboyancy in their face doesn’t help.

    I’ll give CBS this… if the goal was to cast every stereotype they could find, then they did a good job. I guess that makes the ratings go up!

  • koko

    Chris & Adam,
    I would have to agree with Adam for the most part. I quite like the casting this time around, though they really picked people based upon stereotypes…which can make for quite an interesting season I think.

    Rob & Amber:
    At first I objected to having them on the show, but now I quite like them on the show. I hope they DON’T win, but I think since they are a strong team they will give the other teams a run for their money and will also put a bit of drama and flare into the show. I mean, they make a good team because before they both lost Survivor, but then they teamed up in All Stars and did a superior job (considering one of them won). Since everyone already dislikes them that can provide some form of amusement.

    I do agree that it’s totally lame that Rob always says “we won a million dollars” because…well Amber won. Get over it Rob, we all know your chick won.

    Rob &/or Amber may not have a lot of book smarts per se, but they do seem to have some street smarts or they wouldn’t have gotten as far on Survivor.

    However, my only complaint about them…I don’t think they are “out racing” anyone if they are recognized and automatically carted around a whole leg of the race because someone recognized them. That isn’t out playing anyone, that’s just getting some where because people know you. Now, if everyone were well known before the show then that is a totally different story (e.g. amazing race all-stars perhaps??).

    POW & Miss Ugly:
    I hate how they always refer to themselves as the “all american team”. Blah, get over yourself. She’s so goddamned ugly…well at least I think so. I think they are utterly boring. I can only hope that they get eliminated quickly…blah.

    Ryan & Chuck:
    I thought they were great! I don’t think they are the epitome of southern hicks. Sure they were hicks, I’m not denying that. But for one they were employed…when I think of southern hicks I think of unemployed asshats who shoot guns, have poor english, who can barely function in society. Sure they had heavy thick hick dialect and questionable english at times…but one of them tried speaking spanish based upon his knowledge of portugese (sp??). I don’t know many hicks who can communicate in english let alone another language. Sure they are obese, slow moving, not so bright at times boys from the hills…but hell, they were a lot brighter than most of the hicks I’ve met. I think they made it rather amusing to watch.

    The queer boys:
    I thought they were funny…annoying at times, sure.

    But oh well…all the teams have their faults and none of them are exceptionally brilliant individuals (it’s always amusing to watch stupid people…that kind of tv sells while smart people tv not so much).

    blah oh well…I don’t care, it’s just TV.

  • IUMike

    I have to strongly disagree with Chris’ argument that gay people should act “normal” so that straight people will like us. The fact is that straight people don’t like me, not because of any mannerisms or stereotypes I might have, but because I love other men. Act however you want…straight people can just get used to it. God bless the USA.