Last night I went to the Monroe County Fair where I knocked one of the more important things off of my US-to-do list, but more on that later.
The purpose of our trip (I went with Mateo and another guy) was to see the 2006 Monroe County Fair Queen Pageant, which started at 7:30. Traffic along the small country road was a bit unbelievable and an extremely cute (no, hot) Ellettsville police officer suggest that we try another entrance since we were just buying a day parking pass, so we did, and he was right.
We got to the fair grounds, which are not yet completely set up, and made our way into the auditorium where the pageant was held. It was a vast improvement over the old stage, which while on the exact same site, was not air conditioned. We arrived a bit late, and the best we could do were seats in the front row way to the left, right in front of a speaker, so if I am still a bit deaf, it’s because Kevin Osborne, the MC, was talking directly into my ears all night. (When I left here I think he was working for B97, now he seems to be working for the IU Credit Union?!)
I wish I could say the contest was a parade of campy fun, but with 27 contestants, the contest was merely a parade of girls trotted out 13 or 14 at a time, first in swimsuits, then in professional wear, followed by evening gowns, when the stage was cleared and all 27 were escorted onto the stage by well dressed young men. There was little room for creativity or flair, and the only time we heard the girls was when they welcomed us to the County Fair pageant individually at the start of the show.
From then on out, it was Kevin Osborne telling us their names, their ages, their parents, their sponsors, their interests, their 4-H activities. Unfortunately Kevin used up all the material during the girls first trot across the stage in their swimwear, so we were lucky enough to hear all the same information each of the three times the girls crossed the stage in their different outfits.
It took over an hour and a half for the parade of young ladies to finish trotting across the stage five times each (introduction, swimwear, professional wear, evening gown, and then for the announcement of the winner).
Quite frankly it became a blur.
There were some amusing moments, like when contestant number 1, Amanda Carney, came out on stage in her swimsuit. One of the first factoids Kevin mentioned was the fact that she was a member of the swine club.
Or when introducing the judges, the first thing mentioned about each of the judges was how long they’d been married, and that one of the judges had already frozen six quarts of coin this year—which turned out actually to be corn.
Finally the 2005 Queen made her last walk while her prerecorded departure speech was played. 15 minutes later, the talk was over and the winners were announced—although the judges needed a few more minutes. I was rooting for the girl who appeared (to me) to be a budding lesbian (I will not identify her here though, but it seemed obvious to Mateo and me).
The winner was Kate Middleton—who also, in an unusual coincidence, won Miss Congeniality.
Oh, and the important thing I knocked off my US-to-do list?
I had my annual funnel cake.
I think I am going to head over to Ellettsville to see if I can find me a certain police officer… 🙂
They should have limited the number of contestants so that we could have been entertained with some sort of talent contest. Otherwise it just made it look like the only thing these gals were being judged on was their ability to dress fashionably and smile for 15 minutes at a time!!!
I would have been very bored at an all female contest. They should have allowed drag queens in. At least then they would see how it is supposed to be done.
4H beauty queens… gotta love it.