August 2006


No putrid excuses!

Plain BananasJust recently I posted one of the “Mach’s Mit” advertisements that encourage youngsters to engage in safe sex. Little did it occur to me that I would have reason to revisit the subject so quickly.

I was driven bananas.

It started last Saturday when I stopped by the Tegut grocery store in Jena’s Goethe Gallery. I was there whilst a friend was gathering up his weekend groceries and procuring toilet paper. I wasn’t really interested in debating the merits of different kinds of toilet paper—I was more interested in checking out snacks for the evening viewing of Firefly.

After having selected a snack, I was standing by the fruit section looking at whatever was in front of me when I discovered the “Banana Airbag.” After laughing, I bought one for 50 cents, brought home and promptly forgot about it.

mach's mitThat is until I saw the Mach’s Mit advertisement discouraging putrid bananas—suggesting that putting condoms on bananas (for whatever else could condoms be used for?!) might be a good idea.

I don’t remember where I saw the gigantic billboard—probably at a train station, or somewhere around Weimar, but when I saw it, I was struck by how insignificant and thin the condom was and how it probably wouldn’t actually protect the banana from harm—thus reminding me of the Banana Airbag.

Protected BananasSo I decided to try out the airbag on a banana, and, at the same time, try out a condom.

As you can see, the Trojan went on the banana without any problems whatsoever, but it was impossible to get the airbag on the banana without harming the banana.

Maybe I over inflated the airbag, I don’t know. Maybe they need to include a little instruction leaflet for airbag when they sell it, much like they include an instruction leaflet with condoms.

Meanwhile I do know which one I am eating tomorrow morning.

8 comments to No putrid excuses!

  • koko

    omg thank god i just used the ladies room before reading this….

    omg thank god i just used the ladies room before reading this….

  • Ed

    Oh, you know your not supposed to actually “eat it” that’s just an expression such as “blow job” hehehe!

  • mateo

    This is just one of those things when I’m not really sure whether I’m disturbed or turned on! Way to go Adam, thanks for confusing me!!!

  • Erik the Viking

    The solution would appear obvious. With a condom, first you have to inflate the “banana” before you put the condom on it. By the banana airbag, it is the completely the other way around. First you put the airbag on the banana, and then you inflate the airbag. At least that would be my first guess….

  • You think the banana industry would have the good sense to put condoms on the bananas before they put them in the stores. Think how many lives could be saved.

    By the way, since a condom is suggested to preserve a banana, is the reverse true — would the banana bag work on a penis?

  • Koko- glad you didn’t pee your pants.

    Ed- “eat it” doesn’t mean “eat it”??? I like “eating it.”

    Mateo- I am worried that photos of bananas in condoms (or airbags) can turn you on.

    Erik- I will try that.

    Mike- I doubt the banana growers want to put airbags on the bananas before shipping, inflated they take up a lot of space. As for the reverse–it would make giving head or getting fucked nearly impossible.

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