Pick-A-Day

November 2006
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Archives

If I Masturbated…

If I masturbated, I would be sure to masturbate on December 22—as a part of the First Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace.

I know that in the past I’ve encouraged participation in the War on Masturbation, as well as previous May Masturbation Months in 2004 and 2005. I just keep on encouraging it […]

All Hail UCLA

Dear Police Chief Ross and Acting Chancellor Abrams:

I am disappointed to learn that you have decided to have an independent investigation of the incident in your Powell Library.

Clearly the Police were correct in demanding immediate obedience from the younger more ignorant and disrespectful generation. The fact that Mr. Tabatabainejad did not immediately leave […]