November 2006


Pimp Me!

During my disco nap period in Berlin, I did something I rarely do any more: I turned on the television and ended up flipping between a few programs: repetitive CNN news, MTV, rtl, and repetitive CNN news.

MTV was where I landed for one of their peculiar “reality TV” programs. Now, I realize that those of you in the states are probably already familiar with Pimp My Ride, a program where they take some nasty old rusted out, beat up car from some down on their luck individual and then transform it into a totally awesome car with an incredible stereo system, a Dolby surround sound home theater system, and wheels that change colors at the flick of a switch.

Usually there is a surreal paint job that no sane individual would ever want on their personal car.

However, I did not actually watch Pimp My Ride, I watched Pimp My Ride International, where the usual crew of automangaling hacks attacked a nasty old rusted out, beat up 1980s van owned by some famous French football (soccer) player. I would tell you his name, but I cannot tell the difference between a famous French football player and a third league German football player. (I only know David Beckham, and only then because I am gay.) The player had an A-Team fantasy, and so by the end of the episode the rusted out van had been completely renewed with a red stripe and that large flat screen TV and onboard DJ control board, with a massaging recliner installed that we all remember from the TV show.

Pimp My Ride has a fundamental problem as a concept: each car they “pimp” must be more “pimped” than the car before: an escalation that leads to the first car having small 13” televisions installed in the headrest and the most recent car having a 42” plasma screen on a swing out arm so that you can watch it whilst tailgating (and, I might add, advertising to the world that this is a car worth stealing).

Naturally, since I am a typical (not) young male who wants to be on television, I think it is high time that MTV invites me onto “Pimp My Ride International.”

Of course, I need a car. Fortunately, I just saw an advertisement for the perfect ride.

MTV: Pimp My Trabbi!

2 comments to Pimp Me!

  • I still don’t get it why people would need flat screen tv (tv screen for that matter)in their cars.We don’t really watch tv while driving don’t we? unless ofcourse we get caught up in the worst autobahn traffic lol

    hi adam,the Queer Chef pimped me here,btw

  • J

    LOL. I could imagine a trabbi being pimped.