June 2007


First Four: 6401

Dear Ms. Cell Phone Talker

I realize that you were trying to do three things at once in your red car tonight: talk on the cell phone, use the ATM, and try to think.

However because you were foolishly multitasking—and not focusing on any one task—you managed to leave your ATM card in the machine—plus the receipt, so I know you took out $40. The last four digits of your card are 1293.

I would return the card to the IU Credit Union tomorrow, but I am busy whilst they are open: lots to do and it’s not my problem that you forgot your ATM card. I really hope you didn’t need to access cash this weekend with the card because you sure aren’t going to be able to do it now.

Meanwhile, next time DON’T TALK ON THE PHONE AND USE THE ATM. Also, since you did this too: DON’T TALK ON THE PHONE AND DRIVE:



5 comments to First Four: 6401

  • koko

    what a dumb arse…perhaps a shopping adventure is in order :D:D

  • Dear Mr. T.Q. Expatriate,

    Tonight I was in the car my dear departed father left me. He died last week and left this dreary mid-life crisis mobile to me.

    I hated when he bought it, but mom said it was better than the blonde bimbo in accounting. So I kept my mouth shut.

    And now I’m expected to drive it or mom’s feelings would be hurt.

    She called as I was coming up to the ATM. I told her I was in the car. She kept talking.

    She never listens. Never.

    But, it was a good thing. She’d given me the wrong PIN. She had given me her card, so I could get some cash out of her account.

    Her secret one. The one she put money in to surprise dad one day with a trip. He always wanted to go back to Germany. Where they met.

    She had to get it out of her account because Dad forgot to make sure she was listed ICD: “In Case of Death”

    We never thought Dad would die. He was so mean. Mean people live forever.

    I loved him.

    Mom wanted the money to put in his jacket pocket. Silly to waste $20, we all told her.

    Your father always had $20 in his jacket. We’d ask why. He’d just say “mad money” and smile. I smile just like him.

    The police said his jacket wasn’t found.

    Mom wanted him to have $20 in his jacket tomorrow. I got the $20 for dinner tonight. It’s just going to be her and me at home.

    I’ll pretend Dad is spending the weekend camping. One last time.

    Thanks for finding my card.

  • J

    The German system is much better. You can’t get your cash til you remove your card.

  • Ed

    Ms. Cell phone Talker is so lucky that you found her card. I’m sure she is worried sick about it. She has probably promised herself, God and the Devil that she won’t let it happen again. Please kind sir won’t you stop in at one of the many I.U. credit Unions ASAP? Your an Angel, thanks.

  • B.

    I honestly don’t understand why people insist on using phone while driving. If you absolutely have to — as in matter of life/death and not what Will Ferrell dvd should I pick up on the way home — then get a damn hands-free kit.

    And now that my mini rant’s over, I’m going to reflect on drive-thru banking. Ahhhh… those were the days!