October 2007


Hurting Myself

This morning I woke up at 5 only to discover that a lead pipe had attached itself to my right shoulder.

It felt like that anyway. I’d managed to turn over on top of my right arm whilst sleeping—I had to lift my right arm with my left arm and reposition it so that it could recover.

At that brief moment I’d remembered reading on the web that some guys who get bored masturbating with their hand will, on occasion, put their hand to sleep intentionally, and then use the sleeping hand to get off. The mere thought of that was enough to repulse me and I wondered why anybody would do it. However, different strokes for different folks—just don’t ask me to do it.

However morbid and disgusting that thought was, I have a far worse pain to deal with: I managed to do something to my right ankle. While sleeping. I didn’t realize it until I was got out of bed and started making my way to the bathroom—when suddenly it felt like I was about to fall over.

I managed to make my way to the train station—the funny thing is that at some moments while standing it is fine and at others, I am about to fall over. Of course, it’s fine right now while I am seated and not doing anything—which, beyond the times I am standing on train platforms, is all I will be doing this afternoon.

This isn’t the first time I’ve hurt myself while sleeping—and it amazes me when I do. If I’m awake I can see how and why I hurt myself (“gee… stepping in front of that moving truck was a bad idea!”), but the fact that while I’m lying there, doing nothing but dreaming whatever dreams I dream, that I can manage to hurt my back or twist my ankle confounds me.

3 comments to Hurting Myself

  • Well all these injuries sound rather benign other than being annoying. Now, an injury resulting in a fractured wiener might be rather inconvenient not to mention an odd nocturnal mystery to solve.

    I know this time of year I tend to get cramps in my calf muscles until my body adjusts to the season.

  • disenchanted

    @ CQ: I get the most horrible charley horses in the winter. You can’t get rid of those things unless you stand on your leg to stretch it out … only standing on your leg makes you want to fall over. Now, obviously, this is not as mysterious as TQE’s twisted ankle.

  • Bud

    Seriously, might you be a sleep walker?