January 2008


Early to Bed, Early to…

When I was a child, there was one thing I could count on: my father was always the first person awake in the house.

He had, what my mother termed, “alarm phobia”—often waking at least five, if not ten or fifteen minutes early. He would get dressed, go downstairs, read the newspaper, eat breakfast, and head off to work—all before, as I remember it, 6.

Whilst in high school, I would be the second awake, struggling out of bed, get dressed, read the newspaper whilst sitting on the radiator, and then heading out the door. I was not to be communicated with during these early hours—I could get all the way to school without quite being awake.

My mother, quite reliably, would not get out of bed until after I had left the house.

One would have expected the sleeping patterns to change after my father retired; and they did, but not in the way which one could have predicted.

It was after the arrival of my youngest sister, a cat named Kara, that my parent’s sleeping patterns shifted dramatically earlier. Kara likes to get up as early as 4 and sometimes as late as 6:30—a pattern that agrees with my father and was, surprisingly, not discouraged by my mother. In fact, my mother seems to be the first person awake, officially getting up any time that Kara wakes her, after 4.

Theoretically, my parents tell me, I am able to stay up as late as I want and go out, if I want.

In reality my bed is directly under the living room and any attempt to sleep too late is thwarted by my parents walking around the main floor. I can, sometimes, sleep through it, but it’s not easy, so generally speaking I’ve given up trying to sleep in, and, consequently, staying up late.

Friday night I tried to buck this trend by going out to dinner with one of my few remaining Denver friends. We went to Hamburger Mary’s which is, quite possibly, the gayest upscale hamburger restaurant chain in the world. I believe we were seated at 8:15 and served by a charming waiter who, for whatever reason, used gender neutral terms to announce that he had a boyfriend, after I flirted with him briefly.

I returned to my parents house at the shockingly late hour of 10:30, where I had a few sleepless hours reading a book and writing my complaint letter to Delta.

My mother promptly started doing the wash at 8:15—a scant 30 steps from my bed.

Oh well: I got the message and last night I was in bed early, before 10, ready to be awakened early, which I was: 6.

I got my 8 hours of sleep and I should be functional today; and I’m already at the gay Dazbog, and there is a smoking hot barista working (why does the Weimar Office only have female baristas?!). Oddly he is hot, despite having a beard.

In 48 hours I will be in a plane, headed east, toward the pond.

7 comments to Early to Bed, Early to…

  • Samee

    Hurry back. Hurry. Hurry!

  • Ed

    “Oddly he is hot, despite having a beard” I’m reminded of a routine by the country bumpkin comic Minnie Pearl: Whilst walking with her spinster friend they spot a man, “Look at that feller isn’t he cute?” says Minnie. “Oh NO!” says the friend, “he’s got a beard.” Minnie says, “Well, what’s wrong with that?;A girl don’t mind going through a little brush to get to a picnic!”

  • hey, i want a male barista, too. i have been trying to convince the female obsessed boss for three years now and you can see the result quite well. he still is the only male part in the caféladen. my guess would be, that he is affraid of revalvry. and let me tell you, i have seen some hot baristas out there and we even had some applying for the job, but yet the boss showed his fierced teeth and the guys sadly run off.
    i am surely against this feminism shit, where only girls are in leading possitons. after all, i would be glad to show the boys, how to make the perfect milk foam in any extent.

  • Reko

    What’s this “DESPITE having a beard” heresy? Facial hair on MEN is HOT, HOT, HOT. Facial hair on women, less so.

  • adam adam,
    i got- café-that is repressing male workers in this society – news!
    i went tonight to the caféladen to get a quick espresso, sat down right at the counter, turned my head to the right side and there it was:
    a huge calender, showing a half naked guy for january, hanging above the syrup flavors and not only that, there are half naked, put in tight jeans, covered in oil with water drops all over the bare body; men for every month of the entire year.
    it is wonderful –
    the male reduced to be a sex object.
    oh freaking lord, what a weird world.

  • @samee: I’m on my way… but not going directly there.

    @ed: errr… ok. I just hate kissing bearded faces

    @chica: bad boss. Good calendar. I will have to sit at the bar and drool now.

    @Rex: Sorry, I usually hate facial hair… you would like this barista in Denver

  • B.

    I only wish I had a sleeping pattern. I can easily stay up until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning and still be wide awake (but tired!) by 6:30.

    I’ve often said if I was going to get addicted to anything it would be sleeping pills.

    And I’m with you on the facial hair thing. Johnny Depp being the lone exception…