Entering the Danger Zone

Really, there are times it’s great to be an American and times it is a royal pain-in-the-ass.

Right now it’s one of the later.

It’s so bad that I have gone on the offensive, and when I’m in a group where I am the resident American, I’ve taken to asking the question first: What do you think about the American election.

For some reason everybody I encounter, whither I go, wants to know what I think, so the fact that I get them to tell me what they think first is usually fun. Most of the comments revolve around non-Americans inability to believe that George W. Bush could have ever been elected and that Sarah Palin could even be remotely taken seriously as a Vice-Presidential candidate.

To her credit, Sarah Palin has raised more questions than Terri Schiavo and Senator Larry Craig combined, and why wouldn’t she? Terri Schiavo was a case relatively easily understood by Europeans; it was her poor delusional parents that were the subject of scorn on this side of the pond. Meanwhile Larry Craig was merely engaging in behavior that Europeans understand happens; they just wanted to understand why one could get arrested for such behavior. However the concept of a bear hunting, pro-life, and anti-gay Governor is fascinating and beyond comprehension.

I bring this up because I was ambushed, so to speak, in my German class today.

Usually my weekly German class consists of two students—this week the other student was out of town, so it was just me. Consequently I thought it would be fun to meet my German teacher at the Coffee Shop in Jena, just to get out of the office environment—really the most I see of Jena is usually the walk between the train station and my office. The rest of the city, of late, is a mystery to me.

After we ordered our drinks and settled down at a table, her first question to me (in German, naturally) was, “What do you think of the vice-presidential candidate for John McCain?”

It’s hard to give an exact answer to that question, because, in part, I don’t.

Adam with a cardboard Dan Quayle

Think of her, that is. She’s the biggest piece of fluff on a major party ticket since Dan Quayle—who, despite the constant jokes, was not a total and complete idiot.

Meanwhile I was left to try and explain Ms. Palin—so I couched it in terms of evangelicals and the fact that she appeals to people who think the two most critical issues facing the United States today are abortion and same-sex marriage. These are people who think God will soon call us home if we do not stop these two horrific and dastardly deeds from happening. These are people who think that Iraq was directly responsible for 9/11—and that President Saddam Hussein was personally training and assisting the terrorists every step of the way.

Meanwhile if the United States was serious about going after Osama bin Laden, they wouldn’t be dismissing gay Arabic speakers translators from the military; over and over (26 times) again.

My German teacher and I talked for more than an hour and a half, and fortunately our conversation drifted away from this aspect of American politics relatively quickly—and while I am usually proud to be an American, thinking about all of this put me in a melancholy mood—American can be a great country. America should be a great country.

It is not important whether the candidate has a vagina; whether the candidate wears a flag pin; or whether the candidate was a POW, what is important is a vision for the future and the ability to restore global respect for America.

Barack Obama can make the change the US needs.

And I will remain on the offensive, asking my friends what they think about the US election before they can ask me; it’s easier that way.