October 2008


Naked Façade

A funny thing happened on the way to this blog entry yesterday: I reviewed Burger Burger.

I know why I planned on mentioning Burger Burger—it was the starting point for something else. That something else is the nature of other people. I’d declined sitting at one of the two table that were exposed in the middle of their downstairs seating area, preferring to sit with my back to a (glass) wall. After I’d ordered and settled in, I paused to look around. That’s when I noticed the other patrons.

Nearby there was a table of five or six overly tattooed and pierced people. Honestly whilst sometimes tattoos can be hot, in general it’s not a big leap from hot to not. In this table’s case, most had long since made that leap—one having negative tattoo art.

This reminds me, while in the UK I saw a TV ad featuring an old lady cooking in her kitchen. She was wearing a nice necklace and dress, and the gist of the message was that when she was young, she’d decided to buy the best possible non-stick cookware, and now that she’s elderly, the non-stick cookware is still non-stick and doing its job. I forget the brand, but obviously it’s a premium brand for better people. The ad continued, “This is a decision you will not regret, unlike some others.” The camera then zoomed in on one of those tribal arm-band tattoos on her wrinkled old-person skin. This is why I oppose tattoos on my own body.

Regardless, there was one attractive tattooed and pierced guy.

He’s somebody who I would normally never have given a second thought—excessive tattoos and earrings that had stretched his earlobes far beyond anything otherwise attractive or recognizable. Except on him it worked—even the tattoos climbing up his neck.

I pulled my Clarissa Dickson Wright book and started reading it (this is one reason I was especially conscious of what and where I was eating)—every once in awhile looking up. It was one of these moments that I looked up and turned my head his direction when I saw him smile at something one of his friends said. His façade was broken—I could see through the rough-guy-tattooed façade and see the inner human.

But that’s the thing: so many people put up a façade that’s designed to signal “don’t fuck with me” (Skater Punks, Drunks, and Fußball fanatics) or “I’m a bimbo” (Sarah Palin, Sorority Sisters, and George W. Bush) that when we see their human side, it catches us off guard and provides great insight. Take Dan Quayle’s human moment: when he was asked how he would respond if his daughter came to him and said that she was pregnant and going to have an abortion, he said “I would support her choice.” That was a human moment and we saw his weaknesses—it made him more real to me (and, perhaps, signaled the moment that Dan Quayle was a more serious person than George H. W. Bush). Then there’s the drunk who told me, “Don’t take offense Adam, but Gays….” I forget what followed after that—but I knew he is gay (even if he is deep in the closet). It was a human moment, even as I’ve done my best to avoid drunks ever since.

Meanwhile I am attracted to guys with colorful Mohawks—I find them hot. I see one out of the corner of my eye and my head spins. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember—and with some friends it’s a running joke. So it wasn’t that surprising when I ran across a porno from Cazzo Film (NSFW) featuring German Punks with multicolored Mohawks, I had to watch. I wasn’t disappointed—the guys were hot and I loved their hair, even as I realized that ultimately these guys were human beings.

Naked they have the same goods that every other naked male has.

Without clothing, a façade is more difficult to maintain. It centers on attitude, and whilst some people are able to maintain their dressed attitude whilst naked, it rarely lasts long.

Which brings me back to Burger Burger; the moment the guy smiled, his façade was broken and I found him even more charming.

Sometime later, I looked up from my book and I realized that he was on his way to the WC.

Being a typical fag, I briefly considered following him.

Instead my burger arrived.


2 comments to Naked Façade

  • Nice post Adam… I think you’re a little more naked now yourself.

  • It is interesting how something can make a person more human. Sometimes there is someone that you just cant stand, until you see that other side of him, and then you can’t help thinking of that moment every time you see him.

    There is was this guy who I found utterly obnoxious. He was rude to the teacher in class, and said the most inane “jokes” – and irritating as anything. Then, on one night out, this boy was saying all sorts of rude things to me. Then that obnoxious guy overheard and came by and told him off for it, saying he couldn’t speak to me like that. I never looked at him the same.