February 2009


Craigslist Find

Potentially NSFW content.

Please click through if you really want to read this.

I moved out of the Midwest before Craigslist hit the area big time, but now that it’s big, I thought I would peruse the listings to see what I could find, and then I found this:

autofellatio for a bear or daddy – 18 (my place)
Reply to: Somebody’s Email Address
Date: 2009-02-13, 11:05PM EST

need to get my 7 inches sucked in a car or give if you are my type. i prefer bears and men over 40. pics below are what type of man i blow. i have a pic for trade, yours gets mine

I believe that the sex-seeker isn’t aware of how the prefix “auto” modifies the word “fellatio” in this context because what he offers in the actual classified isn’t what the headline promises…

Hopefully you don’t mind that the pictures are missing–and that I changed some of the specifics.

10 comments to Craigslist Find

  • Or perhaps he meant auto fellatio in the sense he wanted to give head in a car. Still, the way it is presented makes it look like he wanted to have some bear over 40 watch him suck himself. To which I say I hope he has a yardstick length penis or that’s gonna be a difficult job.

  • CQ is right. That’s auto-fellatio, as opposed to trailer fellatio, delivery-van fellatio, or bicycle-seat frottage.

  • ..with a license plate that says CO CK 99. 🙂

  • To me the headline sounds like he has some sort of machine that will give head to the “bear or daddy”… but then again, I’m straight, so what do I know? 🙂

  • Jul

    I was totally thinking machine, too. Or special yoga lessons to make bears and daddies extremely flexible…

  • i would be interested to see either a bear or a man over 40 try to autofellate without severe injury.

    this reminds me of an incident in detroit. we left the bar and, attached to each auto, was a flyer for a man that was looking for an amputee to have a sexual relationship with. he was very specific as to where the amputation took place- it was either right above or directly below the knee, i can’t remember which.

  • @CQ: It had to be an automobile, but still…

    @Headbang8: Which do you prefer? I’m a virgin at bicycle-seat frottage.

    @ian: of course

    @Scott: autofellatio is the holy grail of sex acts for a lot of gay guys — if you can do that, its assumed you are a god–kind of like the girl who can tie cherry stems into knots with her tongue.

    @Jul: hmmm… a machine….

    @dave: Thanks for the laugh… it took me five minutes to recover from reading about the personal ad you found attached to your car!. That was awesome!

  • @Jul. Where do I sign up? Currently, I outsource.

  • Jul

    @Headbang: hmmm… check the latest Volkshochschule schedule.

    @Adam: I’m pretty sure the cherry-stem thing is less fun. And unfortunately I’ve never been treated like a deity for being able to do it.

  • @headbang8: Can I be your supplier?

    @Jul: I treat my friend who does it like a god; I’ll treat you the same way.