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Whatchamacallit 144: Happy End, soft de luxe

Happy End Toilet Paper

The first time I visited Germany, the Lonely Planet guidebook mentioned that one grocery store chain had named its house brand of toilet paper, “Happy End.”

My hosts denied knowledge of such a store with such a brand. It wasn’t until after I lived in Germany that I learned that Penny was the store and that the story was legitimate.

Now Happy End is the only brand of toilet paper I will use at home – specifically the premium 5-layer version.

Fortunately, there is a Penny Markt within walking distance of where I live, so I have not needed to stock up.

That said, I have always kept an emergency package of Happy End on the top shelf of my bookcase – the go-to supply if something bad happened. Next to it are back-up supplies of nasal tissue and paper towels. I’ve never understood not having a back-up supply: accidents happen, illness happens, and you’re not always able to go to the store if you’ve got a combination sneezing fit with explosive diarrhea.

Thus, I was amused during the initial lockdown that people were panic buying toilet paper – I’ve not needed to touch my emergency supply of toilet paper and I have no intention of ever using it.

Hopefully I will always use Happy End – because if there’s any thing that should be happy, it is my end.


During the Covid-19 crisis, I am going to try and make a point of writing a blog post about an object in my home.

We’ll see how long this lasts.

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