Pick-A-Day

September 2020
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Hundescheiße

Ok, here’s the deal: The next time I see somebody’s dog shit on the sidewalk and not pick it up, I am going to pick it up for them and smear it all over their clothing and/or make them eat it for dinner.

You would think that people in a First World nation like Germany, in a city that prides itself on being the Cultural Capital of Europe (1999), would take the time to pick up their dog’s shit so that other people wouldn’t step in the smelly shit and track it all the way home.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Anybody care to guess what happened to me on the way home from the office today?

7 comments to Hundescheiße

  • I’m guessing somebody treated you like the king you are and threw rose petals down on the gold-paved path as you walked from the office to your flat?

    Only in this case somebody = rude jerk, king = schlub, and rose petals = dog sh*t.

  • J

    You’re luck it was on the way home.

    The last time this happened to me, I was dashing out of my building towards the car with barely enough time to get to an in-company class. Of course, I had to return to my 4th floor flat and change my shoes, so I was late. Luckily, the students understood.

  • There is nothing more self-righteous than a German dog owner, Adam. I remember sitting on a park bench by the Alster when a huge poodle came up and took a great, steaming dump about 10 feet away. The owner didn’t even acknowledge the fact, or seem to care. I understand your anger, but really – what do you do in such a situation? They’re like smokers. They don’t give a shit about you.

  • Wow, I feel for ya!
    Yes, it has happened to me as well. Ian is absolutely correct, they are like smokers… not caring for the consequences of their actions or in this case inactions.
    My question has always been related to the law… isn’t there a law requiring dog owners to pick it up? If so, why isn’t it enforced… if not, how do we get such a law passed?

  • @cq: you guessed it!

    @J: Ouch! Fortunately hundescheiße has never made me late for anything. Just smelly.

    @ian: Well… fortunately for dog owners my threats are merely rhetorical, for I actually rarely see owners letting their dogs shit as I am walkings past–only once have i seen it in person in Germany. Unfortunately I see sidewalk shit more often than I care to think about.

    @snooker: I doubt there is legislation… we need a german legal expert on this point.

  • They let their dogs do it in the dark here. I’ve rarely caught anyone in the act but there’s poop ALL over the sidwalks in our town. My kids are thinking of making little flags with the city logo on them and sticking them into every pile they can find. I better go find some of those disposable rubber gloves. 🙂

    I think there IS actually some sort of “pooper scooper” legislation, but as with so many things here, no one gives a damn.

  • @christina: Your kids have a brilliant idea. Maybe i should do it here in Weimar.