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December 2022
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Finally, a place to feel normal…

Hello everybody! I’m going to take a few minutes and make a guest appearance in Adam’s blog. After writing this I’ve checked and this entry is about 1,900 words long. I’m here because I asked him if I could share the experience of my recent vacation to Cape Cod.

My boyfriend and I awoke at 2:45 AM on the 17th of August, cleaned up, got dressed then loaded up into my 2002 Maxima and departed our home in southern Virginia. So began our 14-hour journey to the gay Mecca of Provincetown, Massachusetts. I had never been there and was thrilled to be going somewhere that I could openly show affection without getting stares and scorn from the locals. As we made our way we drove through the states of VA, WV, MD, PA, NJ, NY, CT, RI, and MA. The trip was uneventful except for the traffic jam we encountered in Providence, RI. This is the first parking lot I know of that is fully represented by 2 Senators in the US Congress.

Upon our 6:00 PM arrival in Provincetown we checked into Howard’s End B&B which would be our home for the next few days. The home was built in 1840 and was once owned by Cole Porter. Also of note is that when established as such it was the first gay guest house in Provincetown. We brought our bags in, washed up, and then met our neighbors that shared the bathroom with us. (Adam: Why is it that anytime I go on vacation and do anything gay oriented, I run into Swedes? Our neighbors were from Stockholm).

After a bit of chit-chat we went down to Commerce street. This is a rather narrow street and during the summer months should be closed to traffic. I was amazed at the amount of truck traffic moving along the road since they needed to dodge all the pedestrians in the street. In Massachusetts it is state law to stop for pedestrians in the crosswalk and is noted as such on most corners, how you would ever make it through Commerce street in a motorized vehicle while paying attention to the law is a mystery. In Germany they would have already turned this into a Fussgangerzone.

Wednesday – Our day was filled by walking through all the shops, eating everything I could get my hands on, and just being the typical American tourist. We walked across the breakwater on Cape Cod bay and made our way to the beach. This was our first visit there and frankly the sights are something to behold. This beach is the only place in the United States that the sun sets over the Atlantic Ocean.

During the trip eating was a great joy because after our return it is time for me to D-I-E-T since I’m about 40 lbs. overweight at the moment. Oddly, I lost weight on the trip (about 5 Lbs.)- it must have something to do with the fact that during the 5 days we walked about 40 miles and rode bikes for 15 more. I think I am the first person in my family to lose weight while traveling.

Thursday – We contemplated going to the beach, but by the time we rolled out of bed it was a bit late to make a visit. So we shopped and walked some more and at about 3:00 PM we sat on a Commerce street curb to watch the Fantasea Carnival Parade. It was mostly drag queens on parade and the passing out of postcard sized ads for the various shows going on during the Carnival. I made sure to collect as many of these cards as I could; I’m going to be mailing them once a week to my homophobic brother and he should get thoroughly annoyed since I have enough to last 2 – months. On this day I also chose to buy all of my souvenirs and gifts. Everyone got something, including my homophobic brother. For him I bought a pink Provincetown t-shirt. At least he can’t say he was forgotten, right?

WARNING: If you’re easily offended by adult situations, you can leave now. Please note the more graphic of the situations described will be things I observed and not things I did myself.


Friday – I finally got to go lay on the beach. After having walked nearly non-stop the previous two days, it was nice to finally have a chance to just sit on my butt and do nothing for a few hours. I laid out my towel, took off my clothes, applied sunscreen (especially to those sensitive parts) and worked on erasing my tan lines. This is the first time I ever had the opportunity to go to a nude beach. I definitely got an eyeful and the cruising was on in full force. I discovered that I was about the only guy up there that has been bold enough to pierce and wear body jewelry in his male parts. The only other I saw had quite an impressive collection of steel, at least compared to the single ring I wear. Bryan has threatened me with bachelorhood should I get additional metal attached, so this will likely be it for me.

I took a swim in the ocean (65 degrees F) and then took a walk through the dunes. During the two hours I was getting sun, many guys were enjoying strolls through the dunes sans clothing. So I figured, “when in Rome?” and took a walk. I got no further than 50 yards from my blanket when I heard a grunt. Of course this drew my attention and I looked over. On the path next to me, in the grassy part of this particular dune were two guys that were orally pleasuring each other and I happened to trip on them just as one of them was, er… finishing up. Being the crazy pervert I am, I had to go back and tell Bryan about it. I think we’ll have to arrange a trip to one of those resorts in Palm Springs, California next so we can show off our skills. (That thud you heard is just Adam falling over from the visual).

After taking in the show I went for another dip in the Atlantic and then packed up and put my clothes back on for the journey back to our B&B. By this time high tide rolled in and our nice dry path back to the bus stop was now overrun by about 3 feet of water. Other guys just decided to brave being seen by the prudes and left their clothes off for this part of the journey, but I decided since I had gone through the trouble of putting it all back on that they would stay on.

The rest of the day was spent walking along Commerce street and enjoying yet more food before turning in.

END ADULT COMMENTS

Saturday – This was the day we chose to rent bikes and go for a ride through Cape Cod National Seashore. This was a fun ride, at least for me as I remembered to properly hydrate myself before going out on the bikes. Bryan on the other hand did not. So we spent the first half of the ride limping him along (hey, I don’t need a dead boyfriend on my hands) and we got to the visitors center. Fortunately, we found drinking fountains there. The bike path was mostly a rolling route through the dunes and into a forest to a nice little pond with water flowers blooming on it. We passed other houseguests from our B&B on this trail, waved and said hello, then went back to town. If you ever make it to P-Town and have the ability, rent a bike and go for a ride here.

We had planned another day at the beach, but by the time we got back, changed, got to the bus, rode to the beach, and walked out there was a storm coming in. It was rather cold and blustery and most of the cute boys were already fully clothed and going home. So, unable to gawk, I walked around the dunes a bit just to take in the scenery without everyone on the cape being out there. It was nice to have the beach almost entirely to ourselves.

We were going to go out to a club for our final night in P-Town, but when we saw how ridiculous the cover charges were we opted for a restful night of sleep instead.

Sunday – Time to go home. We packed up our stuff and headed out of the B&B after thanking our host for a pleasant stay.

For our trip home we took I-95 most of the way. BIG MISTAKE. Should I have the opportunity to go back that direction whilst driving, I will be going through Pennsylvania again. The route we took went MA, RI, CT, NY, NJ, DE, MD, DC, VA. This brought our trip total to 10 states and Washington, DC.

The trip was rather uneventful until we got to the Bronx in New York City. We waited to get across the George Washington Bridge, then worked our way through New Jersey on the Turnpike (Total cost $6.45). Upon crossing Delaware I discovered their slogan on their license plates should not read “The First State” but instead read, “Welcome to Delaware, give us your wallet.” We crossed the Delaware river bridge ($3.00), then drove on the Delaware Turnpike ($2.00). Please keep in mind that the $5.00 we spent crossing Delaware works out to something around 50 cents a mile as you’re not there long.

After leaving Delaware we arrived in Maryland where we promptly hit a traffic jam. We never really figured out why, there were no accidents or road construction to be seen. So we wandered along and eventually got to Baltimore where we had to travel through the Ft. McHenry tunnel ($2.00). Unfortunately they set up the left lane to split into two lanes for EZ-PASS and one for cash paying customers. You can imagine the back-up this made as we were sitting there for 45 minutes for the honor of handing over yet another toll. They should take some of the receipts and post better signage and designate the left side as EZ-PASS and the right as cash or something. Traffic would flow much better.

Total tolls for diving down I-95 from MA to VA – $13.45. Total toll for driving up through Pennsylvania $3.00. The trip home was 16 hours due to the congestion on I-95.

Oddly, we arrived home and opened the door at 2:45 AM Monday. This was exactly 6 days to the minute after we got out of bed to begin our journey. This was brought to our attention because the TV in our bedroom was on; we had forgotten to turn it off. So the dog got to watch TV every morning at 2:45 until we got home. Speaking of- The dog was happy to see us after spending the week with Bryan’s sister.

In the end the short version of this story is go to Cape Cod – You’ll love it!

4 comments to Finally, a place to feel normal…

  • Were the Swedes constantly drunk and annoyingly loud?

  • Chris C

    Actually, they were quite pleasant and mostly sober. 🙂

  • IUMike

    My only Swedish adventure recently has been a stop at IKEA on my way home from West Virginia…though I still have fond memories of the blond, tall Swedish exchange student in my high school senior year.

  • Chris C

    In my best Homer Simpson drooling over a donut voice, “Blond Swedish men, ohohohohoh…”