Pick-A-Day

May 2021
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I was poisoned! And it was probably my own damned fault.

It’s funny how sometimes your body knows that something is wrong—like mine last night.

After eating an early dinner (following a late breakfast), which consisted of an artichoke, some instant mashed potatoes, and a serving of fruit sorbet, my body said, “Time to go to bed!”

So I went – deciding along the way to set my alarm for 6 o’clock.

It was not, shall we say, a great evening of sleep – I woke up at 9:15 with a massive headache – a headache that objected to the presence of light and I was feeling incredibly hot – and so I was miserable for about half an hour before it occurred to me that perhaps I should make my way to the toilet – somehow I knew that the waves noxious waves washing over me were going to lead to something I haven’t done in years.

To be delicate: kotzen.

It’s amazing how much better I felt afterwards – within 15 minutes I felt my body temperature return to its normal levels and by 10:15 I was back in bed, the headache receding into distant memory and sleep quickly returning. The rest of my night’s sleep was deep and sincere—although I did wake up, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 4:45—making it to the office by 7:20.

I suspect, now, that I did not cook the artichokes long enough last night – 40 minutes of steaming was probably not enough – and I shall not be eating the second one, lest I repeat the experience.

6 comments to I was poisoned! And it was probably my own damned fault.

  • AnkiH

    I know the artichoke as an aphrodisiac (wondering what you were planing doing), but I, too suspect that vegetable as the source for your head-clos-to-the-toilet-experience. I also know that, when you cook the artichoke far too long, toxic substances develop. So, 40 minutes of steaming maybe was more than enough.

    I would also consider the instant mashed potatoes: Adam, you are such a dedicated cook, how could you even think of buying it?

  • Reko

    Once I was in Davidson’s grocery store on Nassau St in Princeton. Two aging female preppies wearing tennis skirts greeted each other in their slightly unctuous fashion. (I believe that one of them went by the name “Muffy.”) After a moment of two of late middle-aged vapidness, one of them said to the other: “Listen, Dear, would you happen to know where the instant potatoes are?” Without skipping a beat, the other one said, “No, Dear, I certainly would not!”

  • AnkiH – I’ve never thought of the artichoke as an aphrodisiac! Shocking — as for the cooking, I googled and a triangulation of recipes from different sites recommended steaming artichokes with garlic and bay leaves for 40-45 minutes. I was probably over estimating 40 minutes when I stated it above — I probably should have spent more time. Either way, it doesn’t matter… the second artichoke is uneaten. (And the mashed potatoes: I was hungry as I’d over estimated how much “meat” is in an artichoke. It was the mashed potatoes or soup…. I keep a small supply “insta” food…)

    Reko – Cute. Some how, though, I cannot picture you wearing a tennis skirt.

    • Reko

      Actually, I was NOT one of the two aging female preppies. Ivy League graduate student nerds usually don’t count as “preppies.”

  • Any vegetable with “choke” as part of its name should always be treated with suspicion.

  • Prashanth

    at least you did not arti”choke” 😛