October 2022


I misunderstood Supreme Master Ching Hai

It came about because of a mistake on my part: I forgot to pack a second book to keep me entertained while in Usedom. Consequently, I turned on the television, found Supreme Master Television. It was only then that I misunderstood Supreme Master Ching Hai, and was chewed out by PseduoWife’s RealHusband.

“That’s not what she means,” he told me. “She means that you actually shouldn’t eat hamburgers.”

It was actually a simple misunderstanding: Supreme Master Ching Hai had just finished telling me that the real, unsubsidized cost of that 99-cent hamburger was actually $200.

Naturally, since I like a good bargain, I proposed finding the nearest McDonald’s and gorging on hamburgers – saving $199 on each burger seems fantastic.

Not only had I misunderstood Supreme Master Ching Hai, it turns out, upon further research, that there wasn’t a McDonald’s within 25km of where we were.

It turns out that Supreme Master Ching Hai has a list of top five things that she hates for people to work in: producing meat, human trafficking, and, uh, three others that I cannot remember at this moment.

The channel is somewhat hypnotic – with programing in English, but 19 languages simultaneously translated on screen. The weak-willed and easily religioused can fall prey to its ramblings. People like me find it hilarious.

Most programming consists either of the Supreme Master Ching Hai telling us how we can help improve the world or of people telling us how wonderful and enlightened Supreme Master Ching Hai is. The remaining time is filled with trite programming like Supreme Master Ching Hai’s Poem about Puppies set to music.

At some point we saw Supreme Master Ching Hai’s New Year’s Greeting:

Happy Vegan New Year!

Sadly, I might note, that January 2, 2012, was the last day to see her programming on the air:

Today is the final day Supreme Master Television is broadcasting and we bid you fond farewell in profound appreciation for all your love and support. Thank you, everyone, for watching during the past years. May we all continue to each strive in our own ways to contributing to World Vegan, World Peace. The very best of wishes to you and yours for many happy vegan New Years.

4 comments to I misunderstood Supreme Master Ching Hai

  • You should celebrate the demise of this TV network by eating a hamburger.

  • PseudoWife

    I am shocked that her program went off the air! You mean with foreclosures and job loss people aren’t donating to spread the message of Veganism. Luckily we were enlightened before the Supreme Master Ching Hai’s budget cuts. Maybe she’ll continue to spread the word over the radio…one can only hope. Happy belated Vegan MLK Day!