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August 2020
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Whatchamacallit 11: Mr. Ben for April

Australian Firefighters 2020 Calendar: April (Ben)

Since 2009 I’ve had a calendar of firefighters on my wall.

For the first 9 years, it was the Colorado Firefighters Calendar, which supports the Children’s Hospital Colorado.

However, as time went by, I became less and less enchanted with the calendar: it started out slick, but it became slicker. With the main photos, the firefighters were shirtless – and oiled up to the point where their skin glistened and they could worm their way through the tightest gaps much like a cat. They’re so greasy that it’d be impossible to hold on to them and should they face a fire, they would sizzle like a steak on a grill.

Honestly, it got to the point where most of the firefighters on the Colorado Firefighters Calendar look better with their clothing on than with it off.

So I started looking around for new options. In 2019, I had French firefighters in a dramatic black and white calendar – nice, but it was too much for me.

I prefer simple, straightforward photos of firefighters.

For 2020, I ordered the Australian Firefighters Calendar, thus supporting a variety of Australian causes – even though I’ve never been.

Funny – in January the big news was that Australia was on fire and that the firefighters of Australia were heroes. They still are, of course, but how many people remember this? How many people proudly display their Down-Under Donation Dildo?

This calendar, which I look at every single day, reminds me that life is precious, that firefighters do incredible work under trying circumstances, and that Australian firefighters look good.

Then again, in 2009, so did Thüringens Feuerwehrmänner.


During the Covid-19 crisis, I am going to try and make a point of writing a blog post about an object in my home.

We’ll see how long this lasts.

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